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I haven't checked my mail in 2 years:

dutchman@sucksornot.info

 


2012

This is easily and unequivocally (awesome word) the most destructive movie this whole year. Things explode and get crushed in every scene. This means one thing. Roland Emmerich has directed it. The man who has brought us masterpieces such as Independence day and Godzilla is back with a whole new range of awesome destruction. Perhaps, if we're lucky, there's also a story in it somewhere! Oh, and perhaps actual human characters?

The plot revolves around the myth of the end of the world in 2012. I cannot really explain this but I found some pictures that 2012 believers assure me will surely clear things up for you!

 

    

 

      

 

 

 

 

  

   

Now that I cleared that up and probably made you a believer, how was the movie? Well, a day after I saw it I spoke with someone who didn't like it and seeing as I did like it we got into an argument. Weirdly, our arguments were exactly the same yet he arrived at a different conclusion. I decided to put it all in a schedule and let you decide for yourself.

(Note, I have no picture of Rick so I used a picture of what I thought defined him best)

 

The Sucksornot.info 2012 debate

 

My arguments why this is a good movie:

 

His arguments why its a bad movie:

 

-No real plot to be discerned. This need not bother us as its about the world falling apart.

 

-No story!! I want a story! Movies have stories, right?
-Flat characters that could mostly be defined by a single element. (the whining pilot, the stereotypical Russian, the emo son etc) This is true but it also means there's more time for the action.

 

-Characters who are so mind numbingly flat they might as well not have been there at all. (Apart from Sacha, that blonde chick and president Danny Glover who were awesome)
-Ball shattering action sequences where the world ends.

 

-Action that was so overwhelming I needed to use the bathroom.
-More action and world destruction. Also, Arnold Schwarzenegger apparently dies in ceiling collapse. The explosions and demolitions get so unbearably awesome I nearly forgot I had popcorn. Sweet delicious popcorn......

 

-I didn't see Arnold die but I did see scene after scene of CGI powered mayhem which frankly was a bit much.
-Aircraft carrier destroys White House. This marked the highlight of total destruction and also the beginning of slightly less interesting action in the back of a large ship as John Cusack spends the remaining movie time unclogging a hydraulic winch.

 

-Finally! No more pointless demolition as now we see some attempts at character driven suspense as John Cusack saves a ship full of people. Also, the adorable puppy still lives!
-When the 2 men who killed a predator in hand to hand combat are both in the same movie and die then the shit must really have hit the fan.

 

-Wait, who killed a Predator? What does that have to do with anything?
-Dr Phlox says we're doomed! We're doomed!

 

-Who the fuck is Dr Phlox? What the hell are you talking about?
-John Cusack somehow saves a lot of people and the human race can continue. Somehow. Or something. I'm still tingling from all the  destruction I just saw on screen. -The ending was a little vague as Africa seems to have risen from the sea or something. Who cares anyway? I'm still spasming uncontrollably from the sensory overload I received watching stuff blow up and crumble.
Conclusion: one badass movie with massive destruction. This is why movies are made.

Conclusion: One horribly bad movie. This is why vomit bags are made.

Wow, this is a great example of what happens when my opinions run into those of people who are not me. Haha, if only they knew how wrong they were....

Anyway, whether you choose to go with my opinion or that of the giant ape man is up to you but in either case, one important question remains.

Which Roland Emmerich White house demolition did you like best?

Is it: A

The aircraft carrier smashing into it. (intended to serve as a symbol of how good it would be to have another Kennedy in the white house. Just another example of how weirdly Emmerich's brain works.)

 

Or B:

The good old Laser beam from Independence day, still considered a timeless classic by several people.

 

 

 

Send your replies to my usual e-mail address where I will most likely not read them as I lost my login data 2 years ago!

 

 

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