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I wasn't exactly a fan of the Hitman games but I still figured this movie might be interesting enough to get me out of my 3 month cinema break. There has been literally nothing for 3 months that grabbed my attention in any way yet somehow a bald man with a barcode on the back of his head and a trailer that was only moderately cool got my ass in gear. I'll never know my my brain works...
The good thing is, this movie wasn't a complete waste of time. Not a complete one, I say. That's because the story was pretty much rubbish, the characters all seem better at place in a 30 second commercial rather then a full blown movie and the director did have some trouble with choosing his shots. No seriously, what the hell is up with that bottom shot towards a building? Is that meant to make the building look cooler? Its a goddamn hotel that houses just 3 scenes for gods sake. Its not the house from shining and surely doesn't need freaking character building!
On top of that, the main character simply isn't cool enough for the man he's meant to be. I never played a hitman game but even I remember agent 47 being a mean looking badass who says nothing unless what he has to say is totally awesome. The agent 47 we see in this movie has none of that and sports a look that seem more akin to a 6 year old who doesn't want to eat his vegetables.
On the other hand, the movie does contain full frontal female nudity, belonging to a prostitute, who for a change doesn't manage to melt 47's heart. This is an unusual twist in a movie like this where the hero normally ends with his girl in his bed to, you know, drink coffee. That doesn't happen here. 47 prefers drugging the girl to having sex. He then goes to the bar to probably read some more in his 'guide to relations' book. I found this break with usual movie relations quite refreshing.
Oh btw, the last paragraph may contain spoilers...
The rest of the movie isn't all bad either. How often do you get to see a Hind gunship shoot up a church? And we got to learn that the Russian Federation apparently deploys Starwars style super soldiers for almost any job. Oh, and they used the old 'gass the civilians to protect them' trick again, which is always funny to watch.
I come to a total of 2 Michael Ironsides (with some generosity) so its not the complete disaster like some movie sites make it appear. You will need some tolerance but in the end coolness wins out, sort of.