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dutchman@sucksornot.info

 


The assasination of Jesse James by the coward Robert Ford

I got this movie as a gift and that's the only way I hope anyone ever gets this thing in their possession because the realisation that you would have spend money on this pretentious piece of bad cinema might well be to much to bear.

Anyway, first things first. Its about Jesse james, obviously who is pretty much the most famous bandit ever to roam the west. Apparently being a god amongst men he's played by Brad Pitt. it might as well have been Tom Cruise or jezus Christ himself, the dude is practically portrayed as a saint. And for reasons I don't fully understand. Anyway, the movie portrays Jesse's last days before he is killed by Rpbert Ford who, as we can suspect from the title, is somewhat of a non-hero.

Something bothered me about this movie. Perhaps it was the almost complete lack of violence which is odd considering it has the word 'assasination' in its title which lead me to believe at least a few people would get assasinated. Silly me. Sure, some shots get firted but for the most part the movie reflects on how awesome Jesse James is which brings me to my next point,

Brad Pitt is annoying as Jesse james. He already annoyed the crap out of me in Troy where he did nothing but stare in distances and kill Eric Bana.

 

 

 

Pwned!

But what bothers me the most by far is the sheer pretention this movie seems to have. Its like the makers decided in their first production meeting they wanted oscars and so they looked at every movie that ever got an oscar and wrote down what they did and they put it all together. Overextensive scene establishment. Pompous narration. Actors who speak their lines so distinctly and articulated they must know them so well they could say them backwards. A story that practically screams 'art' It desperately wants to be oscar material but all we get is pretention and pompousness led by Brad freaking Pitt.

I can go on why I don't like this movie but they come down to the same thing. Its bloated and ugly and boring. Its not that I only want to see movies with lots of violence. Some of my favourites are completely violence free but I do want to see a movie with a point and a little speed in its story. And please, don't give Brad Pitt another God role. Its to much.

As a close I found another reason to be pissed with this movie:

The reason why I do not like the movie and will not be telling others to see it is because it was not filmed in Missouri at all. This really bothers me. I'm sorry but you can not make a movie about the famous outlaw Jesse James and not film it in St. Joseph or kearney. Not even a tiny bit was filmed in Missouri, believe me I checked both the film credits and IMDB.com. Instead they filmed in various locations in Canada and in Hollywood hills, CA. This is the biggest insult to Missourians.

They filmed it outside Missouri??? Outrage! I am so mad I could blow a bloodvessel!

 

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