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Mail me at:

dutchman@sucksornot.info

 


Pororocka

Its always fun to go watch a band play live music. Especially when the band playing is composed of your friends and its their first time. The only thing that could possibly ruin that is a bar that doesn't want to sell you beer because there are minors in the house. And that's exactly what happened.

Wait, what?

Due to a cooperation with the local school the bar where the show was planned didn't have any beer until 10, a full hour after the planned performance ended. Aaargh! Well, luckily we were all grown ups who could easily do without for a few hours right?

RAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!

I'm not exaggerating! Its torture! We're at a bar! We're grown ups! We should be able to get beer! Why why why why why!!!

Luckily there was a band to keep us distracted. Pororocka, loosely translated as 'big heavy noise' but with a c in the middle as a vague pop culture reference that the people at Rolling Stone might find amusing. I happen to know they ripped the name from a SportLife commercial which doesn't diminish anything from the performance itself but remains an amusing fact nonetheless.

We said in advance that no matter how sober we were or how terrible they'd be we would clap like idiots. We were their friends and we'd be supportive no matter how foul reekingly awful they'd be. No matter how ear drum shatteringly terrible they would sound. Luckily, to make that easier they didn't suck at all. Sure, there were a few minor screw ups and the lead guitar player did forget to do his solo at one point and the lead singer seemed to forget her lines a couple of times and the bass player did look like he shredded the fingers in his hand after a particularly tricky song but these are all minor details. The music rocked, the drummer single handedly saved the encore and the boys really looked like they knew what there were doing. For the most part. Point is. it was entertaining and it rocked. Mission accomplished.

I think the beer crates in the back really add to the professionalism

The only issue I had was the lack of originalty in the material. Sure, Nirvana continues to be the music of choice for yet another generation of budding rockers  but somehow it feels like its all been done a million times before. What the bar going people of today need is a return to some of the more obscure songs out there that they knew exist but had kinda forgotten. If you manage to hit the exact right nerve they'll drink all the harder for it.

I live to be helpful and so I have added some suggestions of perfectly awesome songs that no band really plays but should anyway. I have also added how awesome you'd be if you played them.

 

Awesome level: Starship soaring through mountain

 

 

Awesome level: You'd need to make a better version but it would still be on par to Godzilla armwrestling Optimus prime.

 

 

Awesome level: Beer that serves itself

 

 

Awesome level: This would defy all expectation. All of it. Anyone doing Duke Nukem live on stage where I'm present would be God for the rest of the evening

 

Rock rules!

 

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