Aren't we having fun?
Most of you might recognize the problem I was facing this last friday. Still, for those that remain ignorant in such matters, let me explain it anyway.
You're at a bar and drinking heavily (as one tends to do in such an establishment). As the evening progresses you need to go to the toilet more often. A lot more often. When you reach the point that beer seems to fall straight through you the toilet visits start to become annoying. Staring at a wall loses its appeal real quick, even when you're drunk.
So what do you do?
The most obvious answers have been done to death. Singing, talking to other toilet goers or taking your piss in the sink instead of the toilet just for the sheer hell of it are all things that we should be familiar with.
However, you should really feel lucky if you have one of these things around:
Its a standard clipboard for posters. It works by slamming shut 4 clips that hold a poster in place. And closing one of those clips will produce a sound like a gunshot if done with the correct amount of excessive force.
Needless to say, I applied some extra excessive force on top of that and managed to get a sound that made the windows vibrate. Perfect. No more boring toilet visits for me the rest of that evening!
Another problem solved, I turned to the matters at hand. 0,5 litre glasses of Brugge tripel.
Life is good.
Poster clipboards rule!