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Feel the urgent need to respond to something you've seen here?

dutchman@sucksornot.info

 


 

Reusel

On queens day 2007 I met someone who claimed to come from the town of Reusel. He proceeded to display some pride at this fact, promptly inviting me and the people I was with to come do some heavy drinking there, with the possibility of heading for Belgium in the night.

Faced with such enthousiasm I concluded that Reusel must be a badly sucking peasant town and so I proceeded to make fun of him and Reusel for the remainder of the evening.

However, with hindsight that doesn't really seem fair and so I did some research into Reusel the day after. This is what I discovered.

 

First of all, Reusel isn't all that hard to find despite it being a ridiculously small  town at the very edge of the Netherlands. Its so close to Belgium that we could consider giving it to them in celebration of their independence. In fact, that might not be a bad idea...

Anyway, its one of those small time towns with huge ambitions. One of those towns that thinks its absolutely great. One of the prime arguments for this is that its only an 'hour away from Eindhoven by public transportation' I live in Gemert and that's only half an hour from Eindhoven by public transportation but you don't hear us advertising that, do you? Jeesh......

It gets worse. Here are some of the highlights of the news page on Reuselcity.nl, complete with commentary from yours truly.

 

Reuselcity.nl news highlights:

 

-The Reusel darts competition starts.

Holy crap! Reusel is having a darts competition and no one told me?? Let me quickly run to get my spare darts and puzzle collection in case I am overcome with boredom!

 

-Paranormal exhibition this weekend!

Yes, Reusel has its own paranormal freak show where so-called artists Diny Maas will try to scam you into parting with as much of your money as is humanly possible. Anyone who goes there or has ever talked to this 'paranormal' person is an idiot and needs to be taken to a re education camp in Scandinavia.

 

-Election for the 'drunken monkey' award.

As much as I enjoy being drunk and being amongst drunken people, I will never approve of an award called 'drunken monkey'. That's paramount to admitting you're a moron  with no life or brains whatsoever. By all the gods, how do you people come up with this stuff??

 

-Police arrests driver

And here I was thinking that nothing exiting ever happens in Reusel! Apparently, the driver of this vehicle drove through the towns scaring several cows and upsetting over 2 dozen chickens. Needless to say, the man has been put in jail for life.

---

In all honesty, the person who advertised Reusel to me was completely and utterly drunk at the time, which may have fuelled my contempt for the town. However, Marco did manage to keep us entertained for the evening and so he is a credit to his town. Maybe even a blessing in disguise, if given enough time. Therefore for the town of Reusel, this seems a fitting conclusion:

 

 

For the rest of us though,

 

Reusel sucks!

 

Back to the world of sucks and rules