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Poker diaries Turkish edition
By Roel 'The guy where I stole my infinite look' Marsman From the beautiful city of Istanbul!
I've known the creator of this wonderful website now for about 6 years, so I think it's my right to force a story of mine on his site. I've been nagging for some time now about asking this creator to publish a new poker story and since he is reluctant to obey my requests, I've decided to take justice into my own hands. So hereby: A new poker diaries story!!! Before reading this story, I have to explain the reader(s) that I've fled to Istanbul about nine months ago, since I couldn't stand the huge amount of Muslims in The Netherlands. One of the small lights in my life here is taking money from my so-called friends. Since I've taught some guys here how to play poker, they are standing in line to give me their money. Let me give you a small introduction of the people here who are willing to throw me some money twice a week.
Kuba Yes, it's his real name. This 26 year old guy from Poland is so incredibly poor, you can't even imagine. He came to Istanbul with a big bag of Zloty's after working one year in a Polish Nuclear Power Plant, which turned out to be worth exactly nothing here in Turkey. He bought one bottle of Vodka and he was broke. Now here in Istanbul he's working for an English porn website which is trying to reach the Polish market, since Polish people live about everywhere in Western Europe after they discovered they could make more money cleaning toilets in London then being a heart surgeon in Warsaw. The little money this fellow is making is going directly to the local liquor store where there are some pretty bottles of vodka waiting for him every day. The rest of his money is being spend on soup and bread, which allows him to spend no more then E1,25 every day on food. Furthermore he manages to have three euros' every week to play three games of poker for one Euro each. Since I've handed him some poker literature he has been studying since, he thinks he is the best poker player alive, talking about expected value and fold equity. The fun thing is though, since one Euro is quite something for Polish people, this guy is so unbelievable fucking nervous while playing poker, you can immediately know whether he has a hand or not. He bloody manages to laugh hysterically while bluffing as you're asking him whether he has aces. Furthermore, since he is so nervous while playing poker, he calms himself down by taking huge zips of his bottle of vodka, which doesn't make his play any better. No need to point out his money is usually going from his pocket, into mine.
Especially look at the card he is holding, yes, poker for dummies. It's a card which shows the rank of the hands. Hehe, sucker....
Germain You obviously already expected it, this guy is French. This 22 year old stud managed to find himself a 29 year old incredibly hot Turkish girl, and therefore decided to move to Istanbul. Little his girlfriend knew, this French bloke happened to be a conventional alcoholic. For someone who is drinking all day every day, you would expect him to be quite resistant to alcohol, but it couldn't be further from the truth. This guy manages to be singing on the streets, shouting to strangers after three pints in the early afternoon, and then continues to drink till about 6AM the next morning. With his long arms and long legs which are becoming uncontrollable after some beers, he is well known for smashing men and women by accident and falling down hard. None to say, he is becoming quite famous in Istiklal cadesi, Istanbul's busy main street. One anecdote I have to share with you. I met this guy in an all inclusive resort in Antalya, where you can drink all day long as much as you want for free. Therefore, all resort guests are rich, retired German Nazi's. This French guy, who became my best friend after some beers, managed to achieve his plan of waking up all Germans in the resort around 4AM by running through the hallways, knocking and kicking on their hotel doors. It was something they deserved according to him: "since German sounds like Germain, and I am Germain". Needles to say, this guy isn't a poker legend either. He is usually already drunk before we start playing, and since he likes the game, he likes to play or raise every hand. Since it's impossible to know whether he has 72 or AA, it can be hard to play with him, but of course he never wins. He is also famous for not trusting his opponents and constantly accusing them of cheating using his famous quote: "I don't play with you cause you saw my cards".
Germain with his regular expression
Rado Another guy I have to tell a bit about is this 26 year old Slovenian. Think of all the prejudices about people from former Yugoslavia and place them into one person, and it would describe the character of this bloke Rado. He has long hair and he shaves about once every two weeks. He walks around without a shirt, wearing just a pair of army pants and a baseball cap, showing the scarves of his body nobody dares to talk about. This guy became my hero after I saw him having whiskey for breakfast, ordering two raki in a bar, stating that he has to order two since he is Slovenian and always carrying two beers in his bag pack, for emergencies. This guy is a legend, smuggling a whole bag of weed from Slovenia, through Serbia and Bulgaria, to Turkey. After this bag was finished, he managed to grow his own weed on his balcony in the centre of the biggest city of Tur "Midnight Express" key. You would expect such a cool guy could plays a decent hand of poker, but to say in short, he can't. He usually trusts his luck and tries to get in all his chips before the flop, seeming to forget that he has ran out of luck a long time ago. I think he somehow upset God or something, cause the amount of outs he manages not to hit are as funny as they are creepy. Talking about creepy, this bloke usually smokes a joint, drinks a whiskey and plays with his huge army knife while playing poker.
Look at his eyes, you don't want to mess with him
One last thing, in one week, a friend who's mentioned on this website before, Pope Robbert will meet these three guys… Yes, that will become interesting…
Poker still rules!
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