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Feel the urgent need to respond to something you've seen here?

dutchman@sucksornot.info

 


 

5 problems with World of warcraft

 

There was a time that I deeply hated world of warcraft. I loathed the people who played, left no opportunity unused to mock them. I suppose that makes it a huge irony that I'm now a frantic player. However, those who know me know that I have had the 'Joey experience'. If you can still play a game like WoW after having that sort of  experience, you are a hero.

Anyway, I'm a frantic player now, to the point of addict. When I announced I was going to play WoW a fellow warhammer player insisted of taking a picture of me to be able to determine what I looked like before I started playing. Perhaps it will one day be shoved in my face and I'll know the full horror of being a WoW addict.

Until then, this article gives you an idea of the world of warcraft and the stupidity that it leads to both online and offline. It took me a long time to do research for it and people weren't always that cooperative.......

 

1. Increased stupidity

I never truly believed that playing video games makes people dumber. Surely, that was just a media thing conjured up by idiots like Jack Thompson to wage their little crusades against the gaming industry. However, I have experienced personally that there is some truth to this claim. WoW does have a tendency to make people dumber, or at least less aware of the dangers of their surroundings.

Observe this picture:

Cozy

Now, those familiar with the game will probably recognize it as the redridge mountains, right in the middle of a gnoll camp. The three of us you see in the picture had just killed all the gnolls and were waiting for a particular creature to appear, because we needed him for a quest.

Things were cozy for a while. We told each other jokes, made train sounds and laughed. After a few minutes I even made the following comment:

'Hey, we do realize that any moment now, 6 Gnolls will respawn right here?'

The problem with monsters in this game is their annoying tendency to return after a while. The just reappear in the spot they belong. We were fully aware of this and yet we did not move out of the way. We staid put.

2 minutes later the Gnolls respawned and we were killed. Violently.

Another example of stupidity are the infamous level 70 characters running circles around fountains. I've seen numerous examples of this and even the players at my warhammer club confirm that this happens a lot.

A typical fountain run (only with hot coals)

 

What drives 2 level 70 players to such an act of stupidity? Have they in fact played so much that their brains have turned to mush and they're unable to do anything else?

Its not just the players that get stupid. The NPC's (Non Player Character) in this game are so incredibly stupid that its only their ability to respawn that makes them viable as dwellers of the land. They stand around when their mates get slaughtered. They only run away when they have 6 hitpoints left and they sometimes call for help while standing in a barren plain.

I've even had a level 4 monster attack me while I was at level 21. That means he has absolutely, totally no chance whatsoever in hell to even inconvenience me. He can hit me for hours and I still wouldn't be dead. Its like when Cartman tried to beat Kyle to death with a rubber toy bat because he couldn't afford anything better.

I rest my case about stupidity.

 

2. Uncontrollable beard growth

This discovery scared the snot out of me and I started shaving regularly again. Its as inescapable as an 60 meter wide oncoming train with people magnets on the front.

WoW leads to negligence of personal hygiene. This is a true fact and I know plenty of examples of it, especially at my warhammer club where some people go as far as to turn violent when a camera appears. Nevertheless, I managed to take a picture of one particularly violent WoW player:

Mark, better known as Settra

See at what an odd angle the camera is? This is because he resisted all attempts at a decent photo and this one was made without his consent. Nevertheless, the beard is clearly visible! This is not because he likes beards, its because it takes TIME to do personal hygiene each morning, time probably better spent doing some more mining or skinning or browsing through the auction house.

There is a clear increase in bearded people over the past years. I'm convinced this is due to the increase in WoW players who feel that personal hygiene is a thing of the past.

Not convinced? Look at the result of a little experiment I held. Over 4 weeks since the burning crusade (WoW expansion) came out I observed the number of bearded people I came across.

 

Important looking graph

Over these 4 weeks you can see that the number of bearded sightings I made dramatically increased!

They are multiplying and we have World of warcraft to blame.

 

3. Paranoia

I suppose it was naive of me to think that I could viciously mock a group of players for close to 2 years without some sort of retribution. When I started playing someone recommended a server to me and I took the bait, not knowing what it would lead to.

There is now a group of players after me, in search of revenge. I wouldn't believe such claims from most people. However, its Joep I'm talking about and he's about as crazy and violent as they come.

 

Remember?

The peasant is after me and if he finds me I'm likely to die for at least a good 30 minutes before I get a chance to flee to safety. I can't even tell a story at my warhammer club without having the wrath of doom called down upon me again!

The maniacs have even set a point from which the attack will likely come.

 

 

Yes, right there on top of the blacksmith in Darkshire. That's where they'll be. For the past week I've been running around it and hiding in the bushes whenever someone shouts 'Darkshire is under attack!'

My only salvation so far is that Joep and his crazy friends have the attention span of fruit flies and after 10 minutes they're likely to have forgotten who they wanted to kill. So, I remain alive. For now.

 

4. Disrespect for the laws of physics

I've never had much respect for the laws of physics but its just something we can't go around. If we jump out of a window we'll plummet to out death and we simply can't walk on water as amusing as it would be.

In the World of warcraft we don't need such grudging respect. We can jump of mountains and only suffer a minor loss of hitpoints. Plummeting great distances really isn't that big a problem.

Its equally possible to fire weapons under water as shown in this picture:

Bang or blup?

Yes, the Dwarfs have invented a weapon that allows them to use blasting powder underwater and still call it a mere 'blunderbuss'. Firepower under water is now a reality.

Also, this world seems to be selective in which creatures are in need of air. My character can only stay under for a short time while my pet bear can hold his breath indefinitely. He just closes his mouth and develops gills or something. Its a freaking aquatic bear and that makes no sense at all!

Oh, and sure, we can jump out of the water! Can't we do that in the real world?

My feet even leave the water altogether....

The laws of physics lose much of their meaning in WoW. Perhaps that's why so many kids are jumping from windows these days to reach their bikes quicker...

 

5. Decreased social skills

The number of people coming to the warhammer club in Uden has decreased dramatically since WoW came out. Back then, I even made a picture of a disappointed warhammer player, a guy who has more then once said that WoW was evil incarnate.

Grrrr...

This is Robin and he's now my regular World of Warcraft partner. Its a funny world isn't it?

That isn't a sign of decreased social skills though. What players do in WoW is at times just shove guild charters in your face, invite you for groups or invite you for guilds you have no interest in.

Its like all social conventions in the real world suddenly don't apply anymore. What happened to saying a few words first? Has that just ceased to be important?

I guess so.

What also disturbed me was the level of rudeness you encounter. I was once in a group for the Stockade dungeon when the group leader inspected me. Apparently my gear wasn't to his liking as he bumped me from the group and shouted across Stormwind to come and laugh at me. 1 player responded to this and spend a minute or so spitting at me.

I was so baffled at this sheer stupid behavior that I even forgot to take a screenshot. However, if I ever come across a Gnome called Valdimar again it's gonna be to soon.

 

Conclusion

It has been an interesting ride so far and I'm not even close to completion. Lots of things still await me, dungeons to explore and people to tolerate. Its not always easy but it has to be done.

I may be addicted......

 

 

World of warcraft....ah heck, you decide

 

 

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