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The World of Wacraft apocalypse
Just a few weeks ago I thought things would be moderately all right. I heard people speaking of quitting World of warcraft and moving to Lord of the Rings. I heard people talk about how they really were through with the game.
That's good. Its normal to be done with a game eventually. I played Company of Heroes frantically for a month before I finished it and was done with it. That is the natural order of things. We finish it and we move on. For just a moment that was the case with WoW too.
Then came the relapse.
At one point I received a phone call from Mark, who you may or may not remember from my previous WoW article. He was the guy who stopped shaving.
The reason he called was that he needed my help in killing someone in my guild, who we all loathe deeply. Unfortunately I was at work and couldn't help him. He honestly sounded disappointed at that because he was really bored. He had relapsed!
Then the fear struck me head on. One by one the former LOTR players returned and there was talk about coming over to my server. I got phone calls, text messages and e-mails and there is now nothing in the world that terrifies me more then a message that reads:
It reads 'what server are you on' and it chills my spine just reading it.
And its no laughing matter. More and more, kids are losing control of themselves and parents have no idea what's going on. This is either because they're not interested in their kids and think that teachers will do the educating or because they're rampant WoW addicts themselves. And now WoW addictions are taking serious forms as you can see in this film:
Did you watch the whole thing? I didn't. I think the guy in that film is by far the biggest douche I have ever seen in my life. He was so stupid he let a game take control of his life and so got what was coming. He's a moron who doesn't deserve pity from anyone. I've had the displeasure of knowing a WoW addict myself. In fact, he was the reason I didn't start playing earlier. All WoW addicts are such utter imbeciles that they're better of with a nice suicide.
However when close friends, who you've known for years and with whom you used to talk about how stupid WoW was start to call you with exactly that question and want to do some questing then the world is ready to explode. The apocalypse must be nigh. Its the end of the world, folks. Lock yourself up in your homes and await the end.
Drastic measures must be taken. I'm now in the process of digging myself a totally WoW free shelter in my backyard to retreat to every once in a while. In between WoW sessions and awaiting the end of the world this will enable me to enjoy a moment of peace.
So far I'm making good progress. The ceiling has been strutted properly and the first supplies are in. I don't expect to need anything but some food and my prized collection of Monastery beers. Those things can take a man through nuclear winter and so we should survive the WoW apocalypse.
Its coming, make no mistake. Soon economies will shut down and the bright people of tomorrow will do nothing but worry about their stats and armor values. Its not a pretty future and I hope you will prepare for it.