Nobody watches 'Temptation island', do they? I'm having a hard time to cope with the idea that so many people watch this that they're now doing a season 6, thats so stuffed with stupidity that its about to burst at the seams.
I can't stand any part of this show. I get completely creeped out even while watching the previews and I haven't once watched an entire episode, just small scraps trying to figure out what the hell the big deal was. The answer came quick. There is no big deal, not even a small one. What is there is a big steaming mountain of filth and fake human emotions unleashed on the human brain. Its not even funny, its not tragic, its not sexy, its not entertaining. Its just stupid. Are there people who watch this crap?
Programs on Dutch TV have seriously gone downhill the last years. It started when some dumbass invented 'Big brother', a program where there was ultimately nothing going on except people sitting on a couch all day while being filmed. The unintended result however was that reality TV became a hit and one after the other was smacked in our collective faces even though no one asked for it. This tidal wave of ostridge shit that has filled Dutch TV ever since has still refused to go away despite my blood sacrifices to jezus, proving once again that catholicism is rubbish. What point is a God if he can't even get some decent smiting done once in a while?
Anyway, I figured there should be better things to do but watch Temptation island and indeed there are. I compiled them into a useful list you can look back to should the temptation ever become to island...uhm I mean to great.
The flying Dutchman's alternatives to watching Temptation island:
-Self stoning (keep on trying, eventually a stone is bound to fall straight back down)
-Eat a small dinnertable (invite friends if its to much)
-Smash a printer against your head
-Jump out the window whilst unopened
-Jam your microphone in your eye (left or right)
-Drink a bottle of mouthwash (I understand it has alcohol in it)
-Jump down the stairs while holding your legs together
-Rob a police station
-Throw books at a cat (any animal will do)
-Eat a mouse cord
-Stuff your ears with thumbnails
-Break your left index finger (don't need it anyway) and savour the pain
-invent your own Gods and start worshipping
-sacrifice things to your new Gods (bookburning are a good alternative)
-Start a crusade for your new Gods, preferably ending in the burning of large parts of Belgium
-Try and invent an alternative for paper (maybe super-compressed socks)
-Scrub your roof with blood (yours or otherwise)
-Stare into the abyss
-Look in your agenda and wallow in self-pity for it being empty (consider staring into the abyss some more)
-Murder a small child
-Murder an older child
-Watch animal planet (not truly recommended though... consider the abyss staring again)
So there you have it. A lot of constructive, useful ways to spent your evening while not having to watch temptation island for even a second. No need to thank me now, do so when I'm feeling not drunk.
Temptation island sucks!
Back to the world of rules and sucks
Got any more useful alternatives? Let me know.