I never check my e-mail anymore:
Tribute to crazyness
Now that the school year is coming to a natural and entirely welcome conclusion us teachers can look back to a year of mixed fortunes and successes and look forward to a simply ludicrous period of vacation.
My best memories this year must go to the higher then usual number of crazy kids and to them I dedicate this article
The craziest kids I've had in class this year:
The idiot cheater
The idiot cheater was in my history class 2 times a week where he'd do nothing except do the assignments I forced him to make and chat with others. He made it very clear he had no intention of listening to me or doing anything but the bare minimum. I tried to teach him shit and he refused to learn. After a while we both had peace with that.
Problem is, if you don't listen to the teacher you miss stuff. Simple as that. The kid realized he actually didn't know shit about anything and visibly panicked several times at tests. I noticed cause he was sitting right in front of me. That also made it rather hard not to noticed his shameless cheating of his neighbor. This kid saved me a lot of checking and for that I liked him. I also enjoyed writing down a 4 (that's as low as we're allowed to go) on his rapport card. Oh yeah, baby. Teaching has its perks.
The kid who was concerned over Napoleon
This kid was an example of perseverance to everyone everywhere. I told him once that my family lost their ancient noble titles because Napoleon took them away (slightly exaggerated). Most of the class reacted with moderate interest but this kid went totally crazy over it and for 6 months straight he has asked me every time I found him in my path (which was 2 times a day or so) how Napoleon was doing. 2 times a day, every day for 6 months. each time he saw me he yelled 'hey sir, how's napoleon doing?"
At first I thought it was funny, then annoying, then massively irritating but now I'm back to finding it funny. If only he could produce that kind of perseverance on his learning.
This is how he's doing, crazy kid. He's a picture.
The angry latecomer
This one girl in one of my more stupid classes would always come in late. 1 minute or ten, she was always late. Naturally I'd sent her back to get a note and she'd have to come back to the reception. One day she had apparently learned from experience with another teacher that screaming is some sort of magic tool with male teachers. She was ten minutes late and I sent her back. she totally went ape shit insane on me, denouncing the school system, declaring civil disobedience, declaring me Satan and declaring school hell on earth. It lasted for minute after excruciating minute and I wondered if I'd ever get her to shut up.
Luckily she ran out of steam eventually and I managed to get her to get that stupid note. Next week she tried it again and a few weeks later again. I never budged. I'm an immovable rock of Gibraltar in the sea of noise. Other teachers did give in, which was why she kept trying it. As it turned out, she truly was quite mad and has gotten professional help 2 months after we asked for it with the authorities. Hurrah, Dutch education system.
Truth be told, I had it easy this year. Next year I'm gonna be a mentor so I expect a lot more crazyness then. But first..vacation!!