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It was a slow Sunday evening when I stumbled across what I believed to be a world war 2 movie I hadn't seen yet. Somewhat amused I watched a squad of allied soldiers mercilessly gun down a patrol of Germans and even thought it wasn't that bad. It wasn't saving private Ryan or anything but it was pretty amusing to watch. Its always fun to watch Germans die.
Then this happened:
That's a Nazi soldier transforming into a electrically charged monster.
I was surprised that a fairly decent war movie would have the guts to turn 180 degrees and become a horribly crappy monster movie with next to no budget for visual effects in just one scene. It blows the mind and then baffles it. No, wait. it blows the mind, then baffles it and then rapes it with a broomstick while slapping it with a rubber chicken.
The story (and I use the term loosely) comprises of a group of allied soldier send out to destroy the Nazi's secret castle where they build monsters for their war effort. How they discover the source of the monsters isn't really explained thought the bolts of lightning shooting from its roof and antenna might have been a bit of a give away. On their way to Oz they meet enemy Nazi's which they dispatch with terribly poor fire discipline and even the occasional defector (probably the first movie where an allied soldier ever panicked and ran).
The actors are all boring as hell. Not even one interesting role among them and I even spotted Corin Nemec who I only remember from being the most hated actor in the Stargate series for being such a poor replacement for Daniel Jackson. Idiot.
Anyway, somehow this movie blunders its way from a few entertaining war scenes to a lot of poorly directed and choreographed battles with the worst CGI monster I've ever seen. The effects suck, plain and simple and with a movie that choose to show the main villains in CGI that's an issue. A major fucking issue. Why aren't such issues addressed in the post-production meeting??
All in all, not a good movie by anyone's score including mine. A distinct lack of either giant robots, bugs and anything else that could make a movie awesome, a crappy monster and lame actors and you got one of the biggest masterpieces of lameness I've come across in recent times. I think Corin nemec is contagious.