I haven't checked my mail in 3 years but hey, give it a shot.
After noticing my daily visitor counter wouldn't go down i figured I'd go back to writing stuff. I'm starting off with a movie review seeing as that's easy to write. Sue me. I'm lazy. I'm entitled to lazyness on a sunday, right? Screw you then!
The last airbender
Yeah I know this review is late and unnecessary because youíve probably already decided not to see it, buy it or even acknowledge its existence. I donít care. Thatís why I donít have a comment section on this website.(that and my unbelievable technical incompetence). I was busy for the last 2 months. Seriously.
The last airbender is an example of a movie that should never have been allowed to exist. The animated series was perfectly awesome and its ending was so movie-like I once did a review on it. As a whole, Avatar: the last airbender, the animated series was perfect. A masterpiece of storytelling and cool animation.
The movie? Not so muchÖ
There is no logical place to start so Iíll just begin with my all consuming hatred of 3-D. I loath 3-D movies so much its nearly become an actual physical pain I feel behind my eyes. Veins throbbing and all that. I am disgusted at the movie industryís transparent and utterly evil attempt to wring more money from our wallets and give us the shit stained sorry excuse of a new development in return. 3-D blows balls. I dearly wish it to go away or at least look like that other movie that also had something to do with AvatarsÖ.
As an avid watcher of the animated show Avatar I was overwhelmed with how badly the story was screwed up and how much the characters were altered. For one thing, the casting was a total disaster. I honestly believe that blind African honey badgers could have done a better casting job for this movie then whoever did it. The lead players looked nothing like in the series. General Iroh was a completely different person. The fire lord didnít look nearly evil enough and the list of gripes could go on to dominate this article. It sucked. Badly. Prince Zuko was the only one who looked like the person he was supposed to be.
I canít even list the number of story things that didnít make sense to me and I canít even imagine what a convoluted mess the story must have been to someone who was unfamiliar with the cartoon. If those earth guys could have smashed their fire nation guards with stones the whole time why didnít they do that immediately? Did it really take a speech from an 11 year old boy to coerce them into action? Stuff like that made the entire movie an increasing pain to watch.
Truth be told I did like the way the elemental bending was portrayed in the movie and the fighting was nice to watch. Thatís why I wasnít spastic with rage about the movie like the dude I went to see it with. But when violence has no purpose or gravity with it, it loses meaning. Seeing a hundred men beating each other with swords but seeing not a single casualty kinda sucks the meaning of the battle out of it. That said, the fire nation battle ships were freakishly awesome. They definitely scored points with that.
So here we are. A movie that shouldnít have happened with a cast of actors that for the most part should have played completely different people in a war with little meaning. Battleships were cool thoughÖ.
Next week on sucksornot.info: (probably)
Check back next week for ravings about aliens and Donald Faison!