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The big screen
"Sir, youíre not teaching this afternoon!"
I love the schoolís public information system. You know, those bigass flat screens that rich schools buy so they can inform their students when classes get cancelled and when a crapload of other uninteresting stuff happens.
I love those screens. Mostly because they never seem to work properly and that always leads to situations where good stuff happens for me. Kids running to me shouting at ther top of their lungs Ďsir, youíre not teaching the last hour?í I always assume that the screens are always right even when theyíre not and Iím perfectly content to accept whatever they throw at me at whatever time. Not teaching? Fine. Hour set to different time. Perfect. Hour suspended so that instead I get to go to some art gallery on bicycle with a very bored and angry 3rd class? Hmm, not quite as perfect.
Luckily, and I use the term in its exact opposite meaning, we get absolutely no preparation for such disasters whatsoever. The teacherís lounge has a big screen of its own of course but who the hell watches that? The teacherís lounge is where we can get away from it all and drink tea for as long as we can reasonably get away with!
The highlight of any teacherís day however remains when a student comes screaming at you if its really true that that final hour (usually around 3) is suspended and you didnít know about it. I always use my favorite words
The screen is always right, even when its wrong.
Hail the screen.