The war on Christmas
Finally. The evangelicals of America have shown us the way to true enlightenment and wisdom. They have opened a new offensive against the diabolical holidays of christmas and easter because they are the works of this world's god, Satan.
I knew these people had their fair share of lunatics and wanted to pave the way for schools to let their students pray before class. Yeah, lets do some more praying that will make the world a better place (note the cynicism, thats what religion does to people who think to much).
Frankly, I've always disliked what christmas became. I hate Santa Claus and his dumb red suit and his made up image. This isn't even a myth or a fairy tale, its a corporate logo invented by coca-cola and for some distorted reason people love him and his horde of flying deer. In fact, there are more annoying, barely watcheable movies about santa claus then any other subject. The only good movie about santa claus is 'bad santa' with Billy bob Thornton and that was because santa had gone smoking, boozing and other things that the evangelicals would frown upon. Let those people frown, it makes my day all the sweeter.
Anyway, as is so often the case, the Dutch provided the (far superior) inspiration for santa claus with our very own Sinterklaas. This is a catholic bishop from medieval Turkey who comes round on december 5th and brings presents. He brings with him an army of negro slaves and visits every imaginable TV show before setting off again to his winter estate in spain.
Sinterklaas arrives each year at a city on the coast by steamship. His negro slaves disperse throughout the city and bring candy to the kids while the big man goes to chat with the mayor and the queen. It is suspected that he fills the evenings snorting cocaine but this hasn't been proven.
Just behold him here on the right in all his ripped off catholic glory. It makes all the real bishops in the netherlands feel ashamed because they don't have a compareable beard. Hey, if you're gonna be a priest you should have a beard. Beardless priests suck.
The bewilderments continue as the kidsa get to 'set their shoe' which the black men then fill with candy at night (although there are stories where the shoe gets stolen)
It always saddens my heart to see Sinterklaas leave again after he's been here for three weeks because it means that the serious holidays are upon us. Christmas and all its forced merryness.
I hate evangelicals but I'm not to fond of the commercial christmas myself. Giving presents on the day our 'lord and saviour'as we all love to call him got crucified and stabbed through the chest after having been beaten for 6 hours by drunk romans? Wow, if you look at it like that....then we're pretty awful people.
Santa claus sucks!
Sinterklaas rules!
Back to the world of sucks and rules
Want to defend santa claus?