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The best ways to waste time

I remain fascinated by the greatest means to waste time. Maybe thats because right now I have to much of it and I need to get rid of it all and the fact that there are no decent films in the theatre also comes into play. Where the fuck are the transformers?? How long can that possibly take?

Anyway, we all do it. People who say they don't ever waste time are either pathetic pathological workaholics or people who lie their asses off. Frankly, I have more respect for the lying, since worakaholics are very sad human beings incapable of social behaviour. At least lying implies a sort of social behaviour.

Obviously the truly great ways of wasting time are playing games and watching TV (as pathetic as TV may have become these days) but sometimes these are just not available. Whether its at work, at school or at some compareable situation, we will always have need to waste time. This is a basic human need, like food and sleep and we cannot deny it.

Smoking is a big way to waste time, used by thousands around the world. However, there are certainly more efficient ways to waste time but smoking cigarettes. Its not only disgusting but also limits your lifespan. A lifespan that you need in order to consume as much alcohol as possible before your liver gives out.

So how can you beste waste time?  Follow these few simple rules and you'l be fine

 

Dont's:

-Solitaire. As desperate as you may be, do not play solitaire, ever.

-Minesweeper. Yes, its a free game that comes with every PC but there's reliable information that it may suck your brain out. Really.

-Pinball. The criminal genious that invented pinball for the pc needs to be hunted down and stoned. Pinball sucks.

 

Do's:

Webcomics. Some people say that webcomics constitute a new medium that is as of yet not fully explored by the corporations of the world and so give the best chances of true freedom of speech. In other words, webcomics are the hope of the free world. Those people are idiots. Webcomics are an amusing way to pass the time when you're stuck in your work, nothing more.

Fact is, there are only a few webcomics out there worth anything. Most are poorly made with lousy stories, dumb characters and bad graphics. However, the few good ones that are out there are really worth the time.

 

Linerider. Quite possibly the best way to waste time currently out there. I've spent hours trying to make the ultimate track for my little man to ride and I'm still not sick of it. Ah, the joy of using simple physics to your benefit are amazing. Go forth my little man, go forth and smack your head and sled against my brutal objects waiting for you!

One of the more interesting ways to cause pain to your little sledrider is to make an impossible twist like this after roaring down a steep ramp. As you can see, this causes massive internal damage while breaking both legs simultaneously and getting the sled lodged in his back and neck.

Brutal and inhumane? Come on, its a goddamn sledrider. Don't those people deserve pain?

Even thinking about this little game makes me want to play it some more. Thats the essence of a good online game right there! I don't even have to pay anything to play it. Perfect!

 

If you tell me you're not at least feel the urge to snicker when you see this picture then you're either a completely senseless human being or you don't see the subtleties of the whole situation here.

Observe the behaviour of the sledrider. He doesn't care! He's being completely stoic while well on his way to crashing into an object that won't give way! Its like walking towards a speeding train while looking on your watch to see at what time you have to be home. It just doesn't happen! Anyway. Linerider is the best. Play linerider!

There are many more means of time-wasting out there and some will certainly be better then others. However, I have wasted enough time for one day. Maybe on another day I'l point you towards them. Until then, goodluck.

 

Wasting time rules!

 

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Got the greatest ways to waste time? Let me know

dutchman@sucksornot.info